.

“If we find it boring, we should just attitude them.”

Or rather "Are we going to attitude them?"
This was a suggestion brought up by J weeks ago.

While I understand where you're coming from, and I agree that we should be role models for the kids.
But do you think doing what they should do will make them realise that what they are doing is not right?
Not only are we role models for them, being just a role model will not necessarily change them for the better. When it comes to teaching kids how they should behave, sometimes it takes more than just doing the right thing to wake them up.
It may not be right, but I think it'll definitely be more effective.

Of course we should never dismiss the kids for the hard work they put in the planning and executing of the celebration, but just following through it "obediently" and "enthusiastically" may just give them the impression that "hey, I can plan and run it so much more efficiently, I don't see why they can't come up with games that are as fun"
Call me cynical. But I'm sure if you just let them realise and feel first-hand how their behavior and attitude affects the entire activity, there's a higher chance of them seeing their own faults.
I'm also confident that the newer volunteers are mature enough to know their limits.

If you think I dismissed you as preaching, then did you realise how you reacted to my question then?
Did you even consider why I would bring it up?
Just for the fun of it?

The rest of the people, according to the list, was only Y. I've asked the rest of them already, and will collect those.
How does it feel to be going around helping to collect one by one, to be dismissed like that.

And try to recall where the collection was delayed.
We missed one of the sessions, and when calculating, you insisted you will collect it on your own.
Then on that morning you told me to do it, when I did not have the list.
4th July was the date of purchase. 18th July was the day all the purchases were completed.
And yes, I apologise for not being able to collect it quickly enough.


Why do you think I let Y do the talking?
I'm not one to walk away or totally ignore people totally.
How often do I answer your questions with silence?
When do I walk pretending you're not there?

If I were the one who asked, would you have even answered?
Would you have stoppped?
Only you know.

The most random reason? Come on.
Who is the one who's disappointed if E doesn't go?
Who is the one who's happy if E goes?
Who is the one who always brings E up?
Whatever it is, it was an attempt to cheer you up, perhaps a weak one.

Firstly, I was the one who asked Y if we were going to play pool, and didn't want to just ps them like that.
If you wanted to know why I went back after you, the easiest thing to do is to ask.
Not just making guesses.
Perhaps it's wishful thinking, but I thought you might just wait at the platform.

Talking is interactive communication involving two or more people.
Speech is an oral presentation by one person.
It's rather challenging to talk to someone when it feels more like giving a speech.
Have you tried initiating a conversation with a teddy bear? That's sort of how it felt.

If you wanted to talk about the day, you could've brought it up, instead of just "tts all".
That doesn't explain much does it?
And bringing up the auditing in a funeral parlour was another attempt to cheer you up, one that was dismissed.

Remember what I always said?
Message me if you can't sleep, or when you need me to call.
Why did I not call?

How does it feel to always be the one chasing?
To always be the one who gives in.
To always be the one to call or message, regardless of whether you're right or wrong.
To be met with silence when you're trying to find out what is wrong.
To have your calls ignored.
To have your messages ignored.
To be hurled insults when you've tried to meet expectations.
To be seen as the bad guy.

I'm tired.
I've tried.
The conclusion is still the same isn't it.
I'm still not up to expectations.
Not just yours.

I know you're still looking for that someone.
And with each day, it seems as if I've not progressed.
Rather, it seems the more time spent together, the more flaws you see.
The more unhappy you are.
I want you to be happy.
Am I the one who can give you that?

I guess loving a person isn't that simple, and isn't quite enough.
The fairy tales always make it so simple and pure.
A good quote I came across recently:
"You cannot always have happiness,
You can always give happiness."
In this case, what kind of happiness can I give you?

If you feel that 3 weeks down the road, you'll be unhappy again, then how much of your life will you spend being unhappy?
Is that what you want?
Is that what I want you to have?
Is it still possible for us to have the future we used to envision?
I'm sorry.

Our First Pageant

Rushed down from the coordinators' meeting to find dear to prepare for the Goldheart Mr & Ms Valentine Romance Pageant. But dear had to finish up her case competition before she could come down. So ended up wandering around JP till it was time to head to the management office.

I was the first to reach! After that a few other couples started coming in, and I got to chat with them while waiting in the meeting room. The make-up artists came up to the meeting room to put on make-up for us. But since they wanted to take before and after shots, I had to wait till dear was here before i could start on make-up or hair-styling.

We were couple #1!

Dear reached about half an hour late, but there was still plenty of time. This is probably the second time I had to put on make-up in my entire life.
(First time was back in kindergarten, when my dad helped me to put on make-up for a singing competition -.- Still have the photo and newspaper article somewhere I think.)
Anyway, after the make-up, we went to Storm for our hairstyling. Since Storm was packed when we reached, and Ron and Josephine (Couple #2) were both still waiting for their turn, we decided to have a quick dinner at Kopitiam before doing our hair.

I was quite positive about it initially, but the effort that they put in was rather disappointing. But then again, what can we expect from "free services".
We'll only be able to get the photos from Marcus after the 14th, so photos will have to wait.

I thought my hair looked alright, but dear was horrified by what they did to her hair. It looked really messy, and they used lots and lots of pins. Not sure how to describe it, so you'll have to wait for the photos to be out to see. =P
But Shervin and I both thought it was unique and pretty. =p

Went back for briefing at the meeting room at 6pm. There were some major changes due to couples dropping out. We were left with a total of 10 couples.
After the briefing, we headed back to backstage to change into our sportswear. Dear and I were wearing Converse. I think I messed up my hair the moment I put on the shirt. Wonder how people manage to do it without messing up their hair. -.-

The pageant started off with the first Fashion Show, which was probably the least stressful of the things we had to do. Being couple #1 meant going up on stage first for practically everything. I was pretty stressed, to be honest.
The "Do you know me well enough" game was next, and I didn't really get to prepare it properly with dear. =(
However, we managed to score full marks for it! It was quite a morale booster =)

Next comes the MOST DREADED part of the day. The "Love Proclamation".
I recited a self-written poem for dear, and was supposed to give her the rose at the end of it. But I was so stressed out that I stumbled! I could notice the judges (who looked twitish) laughing at me. -.- And I FORGOT TO GIVE DEAR THE ROSE at the end, until the emcee asked me about it. :X
It was really really embarrassing. Sorry I couldn't do better.
Things might have been different had we been notified early, and given time to prepare. But I guess it was a good experience. =)

The Love Charade was next, and we scored 5. Not too bad, considering the average score of 4. Dear's "Romeo and Juliet" and "French-Kissing" were really funny. The ones we got were pretty stuff, but I think dear did a good job!
But the emcee started helping the remaining couples by telling them the singers' names! And there wer some that were so easy that we could've fared far better. But enough of whining and complaining. =P

After the Charade, the dressers helped us as we changed into Fox's casual clothings. Didn't really like what I had to wear. But we got to wear couple Titus watches, and Goldheart necklaces! heh.

The "Love duet" was cut short since it was rather messy to have 10 couples singing on stage at the same time, and with the lousy mics, and the last minute change of songs, it was a mess. So we only sang one song in the end.

Finally, the results were announced. We didn't get through (Not that it's surprising), but it was a really good experience. Made new friends too!
To those who got through, all the best!
As for the rest, it was fun at least! =)

The goodie bag we received contained many many vouchers from JP. But I doubt I'll find a use for most of them.

Sad thing is, we didn't get to keep the stuff we wore! (Then again, not nice enough to want to keep also heh.)

Overall, had lots of fun. But was dead tired, since I stayed up with Jor and Horny at Horny's place the night before. Thanks for brainstorming with me guys =)

And sorry we didn't get through, dear.
I hope you like your first-ever poem. Love you!

Prologue

I have archived the previous entries, and now my blog is back with a new look.
Credit for this blogskin goes to my dear, who was both the photographer and the one who photoshopped it to a blogskin. =) Hugs.
(Please refer to dear's blog regarding this blogskin. There's a disclaimer to it that I shan't put up here :P)

Personally, I find that it has never been easy to keep a blog going.
It used to be an avenue for venting my frustration and unhappiness.
But I guess I haven't had the need for that for some time.

This time round, perhaps I shall make use of my blog to share things I like with whoever reads, and hopefully that can help people understand me better.
No, do not expect an essay on me introducing myself, I've had enough of that kind of assignments. -.-

Things I post here my include books I read, games I play, guides on games I play, perhaps even novels I may attempt to write, or my drawings, or anything I find interesting. If it bores you, too bad. :P

I do not promise regular updates, as it really depends on numerous factors, my mood being the main one that is.

Let me introduce you to the number one priority of my life:

:P












Umm, no, not this either.
((Upon meowmie's insistence, I shall introduce you to Meowmie, a stuffed cat I bought for my dear when she went to Taiwan in December 2005.))



















My love of 8 years =)